certified skeleton fucker

transradicalist:

can we like stop calling girls pretentious for wanting someone to take them to a museum and make out with them like seriously

(via sewerclown)

  • Person: I hate musicals
  • Person: They're so gay
  • Me:
  • Person:
  • Me:
  • Cop: Can you tell me what happened?
  • Me: He ran into my knife.
  • Me: He ran into my knife ten times.
  • Ensemble out of nowhere: HE HAD IT COMIN'

You are being lied to about pirates

knitmeapony:

medievalpoc:

anotherlgbttumblr:

medievalpoc:

k-ingsfoil:

spoopyfag:

keyboardwarriorprincess:

takethespearandpuncturetheflesh:

incisiveredneck:

Once they had a ship, the pirates elected their captains, and made all their decisions collectively. They shared their bounty out in what Rediker calls “one of the most egalitarian plans for the disposition of resources to be found anywhere in the 18th century.”

They even took in escaped African slaves and lived with them as equals. The pirates showed “quite clearly – and subversively – that ships did not have to be run in the brutal and oppressive ways of the merchant service and the Royal navy.” This is why they were popular, despite being unproductive thieves.

Oops, turns out piracy is pretty much always a term like terrorist that gets slapped on whatever we don’t like despite being a general reaction to the status quo. And nothing’s really changed.

And when african pirates were captured by the British they were forced into the slave trade.

Horrible Histories taught me about pirates https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zwn5K89dE5c

They were generally democratic, disciplined, communal - they even had pensions! If you wanted out of the pirate life, you would be taken to a destination of your choice (anywhere in the world) and given a lump sum to help you with your new life.

interesting

Honor among thieves.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU YES i’ve spent like two years studying piracy (back when i had time to devote to reading and research) and yes pirates are actually all very interesting and democratic and great

Reblogging since someone recently sent me an ask on this topic (although now it appears to be lost somewhere in my inbox).

The thing that annoys me the most about conversations on piracy is the Eurocentrism. African pirates feature as ‘side characters’ on white western ships and that’s about it. This TOTALLY ignores the many other pirate communities out there. Like, why are there no documentaries, movies and novels about Chinese pirates? They outnumbered pirate ships of European origin by a large margin and were very succesful. They formed massive fleets and regularily kicked ass against European naval fleets.

Chinese ‘Pirate kings’ often had a fleet of over 200 ships and the Japanese-Chinese pirate king Cheng Chih-Lung had over a thousand. He fought wars against rival pirate kings and often saw the European fleets as minor nuances. After 1635 you couldn’t sail the Taiwan Strait without a permit issued by Cheng Chih-Lung. He then went on to become a navy commander of the Ming dynasty. He kicked the Dutch VOC out of Taiwan and might have become king of Taiwan if he hadn’t died shortly after.

How is he not the most famous pirate in the history of piracy? Oh yeah.. wait.. he wasn’t white.

Actually, the most successful pirate in history was Ching Shih, a Chinese woman who commanded over 300 junks manned by 20,000 to 40,000 pirates.

image

It also looks like they’re going to make a TV Series based on her life Starring Maggie Q:

Deadline is reporting that one of our favorite historical ladies may be coming to a television screen near you: Ching Shih, a pirate’s widow who, at the dawn of the 1800′s, began a career that would make her one of the most notorious pirates in the world, the terror of the Chinese, British, and Portugese navies, so unstoppable that the only way to end her naval empire wound up being to offer her complete amnesty and a nice retirement.

image

Maggie Q, late of Nikita, Mission: Impossible III, and Young Justice, is”set to headline a limited series from Steven Jensen’s Independent Television Group, Mike Medavoy & Benjamin Anderson of Phoenix Pictures (Black Swan), and Fred Fuchs (Transporter). Titled Red Flag, the series is set in the early 1800s and centers on Ching Shih (Maggie Q), a beautiful young Chinese prostitute who goes on to become one of history’s most powerful pirates and head of the most successful crime syndicate in China.”

Little is known of Ching Shih’s early life, so our accounts of her usually begin with pirate leader Zheng Yi taking a cantonese prostitute for his wife. During their marriage, Ching Shih was fully a part of her husband’s profession. After his death, she maneuvered and politicked her way into the lead position of his fleet, taking as a lover and new husband a man she could trust to take care of (and I might be reading a little too far into Wikipedia here) all the boring administrative stuff. Under Ching Shih, her fleet adopted a strict code of conduct governing loyalty and the distribution of loot and stolen goods, as well as personal conduct.

Ching Shih was also remarkable for being one of the only famous pirates to retire and die of natural causes. Giving up on defeating her, the Chinese government offered complete amnesty to all pirates, and she accepted, taking her ill-gotten gains and opening a gambling house, eventually dying at the age of 69.

THIS IS THE BEST NEWS I HAVE HEARD ALL WEEK OH MY GOD CHINESE LADY PIRATE TVSHOW STARRING MAGGIE Q

(via winegumbleach)

primalooze:

poppypicklesticks:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

be-blackstar:

This is how you handle getting your privileged called out. 

Not “reverse racism!” Not “heterophobe!” and all those other dynamics that don’t exist. Just recognition. Recognition of privilege (and hopefully continuous self-checking) 

^ THIS

Nice to know that bullying is only a problem and only leaves psychological scarring if you’re not part of a minority. Wouldn’t be surprised if the black lesbian herself was a bully in high school, and used her race and sexuality as an excuse. Reminds me of all the teachers that made excuses and condoned my the ringleader of my friend’s gang of bullies, because the ringleader was a rich Asian girl, and my friend was a working class girl who got a scholarship into an extremely wealthy private school, where students from poorer backgrounds were often bullied for being unable to afford new uniforms or chauffered cars or expensive shoes.

what the fuck did i just read

what the FUCK did i just FUCKING READ

looks like you’re reading MRA bullshit. I wouldn’t expect it to make too much sense.

(Source: lohan)

knivesandglitter:

capecarra:

applecocaine:

myjamflavouredmindtardis:

megan15:

theybuildbuildings:

vintagegal:

Girls pose by a jail that recalls the witch trials of 1692 in Salem, Massachusetts. Photo taken in 1945.

I recently learned that the water in Salem was contaminated with the fungus from which LSD is derived and a legitimate theory for the whole thing is that everyone in the town was tripping balls 

This might be the greatest thing ive ever seen on the internet

We did a whole massive thing on this in history. I believe the fungus in question is called Ergot and it’s terrifying. It makes your muscles spasm so when they had seizures that was the reason, not because they were possessed. One woman had to be strapped to her bed, she was seizing so bad. And, like ‘theybuildbuildings’ said, it had the same effects as LSD; as soon as you touch it, let alone consume it, it messes with your entire system. The worst thing is, you practically always had a bad trip. Many complained about bugs crawling under their skin or monsters emerging from the shadows to scratch and bite at them until they were screaming. It was a horrendous thing and the worst part is, Ergot is still around. It grows on crops and, if your wheat isn’t properly treated, it can be eaten and you’ll most likely experience the same as the women of Salem. 

god i love history

Except that:
Ergotism was well known by the time of the trials, the symptoms probably would have been identified. It was considered a terrifying disease for over a thousand years, known as “holy fire” or “St. Andrew’s Fire”. The most telling sign of ergotism, gangrene, wasn’t even present. It is uncommon for ergotism to be marked solely by convulsions.
Ergotism didn’t poison the water supply. If it had been a threat to the town it would have been through consumption of rye.
You’re underestimating the importance of William Griggs, the town doctor who diagnosed the so-called witchcraft. It wasn’t until after he diagnosed Betty that the accusations and claims from the girls started.
The girls were described as “hale and hearthy” outside of court. Ergotism wasn’t called “the holy fire” because it was mild. It was awful, with rates of fatality between 10-40%. Little was mentioned of vomiting, gastrointestinal issues, skin color change, chills, headaches…. The basic symptoms.
To disregard the unbelievable affect of class and gender on the Puritans is shocking. A wild fungus may seem more interesting, but it disregards prejudice, religion bases psychosis, misogyny, and hate for outsiders that permeated Salem. 
Everyone accused was a social pariah. The only exceptions to this are the people who questioned the trials. This is not by accident. Sarah Good was a beggar, Giles Corey was generally distrusted and had previously been accused of murder, Tituba was a black woman who spoke of omens and evil, Martha Carrier had been accused of witchcraft only two years prior and had inherited wealth despite patriarchal norms, Sarah Osbourne was challenging property laws and social norms, Margaret Scott was a poor widow who had been disliked for as long as 20 years, and so on and so on. They struck out against people their families were suspicious of.
These little girls were under tremendous stress. They could celebrate no holidays, express no strong emotions, no dancing or music, no toys, suffered rampant abuse espoused as discipline, and lived under the constant overwhelming fear of Hell. The older generation at that time was bemoaning the youths’ lack of piety and dedication to Christ. In other words, the girls were miserable and well aware that according to their parents only Hell awaited their misbehavior. They were trying to survive in an adult world not meant, or willing to, support the needs of children. To display anger, fear, or sorrow was a personal weakness. But to do so when coerced by the devil was perfectly acceptable. So they acted out, became hysterical. And claimed the devil was behind it all.
That may not be as exciting as the, “but they ate this spore, right? and it was like a bad trip on LSD!” but it’s almost certainly correct. 

THIS COMMENTARY I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL PEOPLE THIS FOR YEARS.

knivesandglitter:

capecarra:

applecocaine:

myjamflavouredmindtardis:

megan15:

theybuildbuildings:

vintagegal:

Girls pose by a jail that recalls the witch trials of 1692 in Salem, Massachusetts. Photo taken in 1945.

I recently learned that the water in Salem was contaminated with the fungus from which LSD is derived and a legitimate theory for the whole thing is that everyone in the town was tripping balls 

This might be the greatest thing ive ever seen on the internet

We did a whole massive thing on this in history. I believe the fungus in question is called Ergot and it’s terrifying. It makes your muscles spasm so when they had seizures that was the reason, not because they were possessed. One woman had to be strapped to her bed, she was seizing so bad. And, like ‘theybuildbuildings’ said, it had the same effects as LSD; as soon as you touch it, let alone consume it, it messes with your entire system. The worst thing is, you practically always had a bad trip. Many complained about bugs crawling under their skin or monsters emerging from the shadows to scratch and bite at them until they were screaming. It was a horrendous thing and the worst part is, Ergot is still around. It grows on crops and, if your wheat isn’t properly treated, it can be eaten and you’ll most likely experience the same as the women of Salem. 

god i love history

Except that:

  • Ergotism was well known by the time of the trials, the symptoms probably would have been identified. It was considered a terrifying disease for over a thousand years, known as “holy fire” or “St. Andrew’s Fire”. The most telling sign of ergotism, gangrene, wasn’t even present. It is uncommon for ergotism to be marked solely by convulsions.
  • Ergotism didn’t poison the water supply. If it had been a threat to the town it would have been through consumption of rye.
  • You’re underestimating the importance of William Griggs, the town doctor who diagnosed the so-called witchcraft. It wasn’t until after he diagnosed Betty that the accusations and claims from the girls started.
  • The girls were described as “hale and hearthy” outside of court. Ergotism wasn’t called “the holy fire” because it was mild. It was awful, with rates of fatality between 10-40%. Little was mentioned of vomiting, gastrointestinal issues, skin color change, chills, headaches…. The basic symptoms.

To disregard the unbelievable affect of class and gender on the Puritans is shocking. A wild fungus may seem more interesting, but it disregards prejudice, religion bases psychosis, misogyny, and hate for outsiders that permeated Salem. 

Everyone accused was a social pariah. The only exceptions to this are the people who questioned the trials. This is not by accident. Sarah Good was a beggar, Giles Corey was generally distrusted and had previously been accused of murder, Tituba was a black woman who spoke of omens and evil, Martha Carrier had been accused of witchcraft only two years prior and had inherited wealth despite patriarchal norms, Sarah Osbourne was challenging property laws and social norms, Margaret Scott was a poor widow who had been disliked for as long as 20 years, and so on and so on. They struck out against people their families were suspicious of.

These little girls were under tremendous stress. They could celebrate no holidays, express no strong emotions, no dancing or music, no toys, suffered rampant abuse espoused as discipline, and lived under the constant overwhelming fear of Hell. The older generation at that time was bemoaning the youths’ lack of piety and dedication to Christ. In other words, the girls were miserable and well aware that according to their parents only Hell awaited their misbehavior. They were trying to survive in an adult world not meant, or willing to, support the needs of children. To display anger, fear, or sorrow was a personal weakness. But to do so when coerced by the devil was perfectly acceptable. So they acted out, became hysterical. And claimed the devil was behind it all.

That may not be as exciting as the, “but they ate this spore, right? and it was like a bad trip on LSD!” but it’s almost certainly correct. 

THIS COMMENTARY I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL PEOPLE THIS FOR YEARS.

(via fm-kat)

fauxcyborg:

this is how it always seems to go.

believe survivors until they accuse someone you already liked better. believe survivors until you feel pressured to stop being friends with a rapist and then accuse the survivor of starting drama. believe survivors when its an easy slogan to bandy about.